How the Narcissist / Empath Template Can Be Healed by The Twin Flame Connection

Debbie DuBoisAwakening29 Comments

After engaging in a post on the Facebook group, Twin Flame Soul Journey, I realized that the narcissist / empath was a subject I had been wanting to write about for a long time. This is because I feel that I have some understanding of this subject and have been given over time different ways to view this template.

I was inspired by a post from someone that reminded me that I wanted to write more about the mirror perspective. And, my next article will deal with the twin flame mirror and the confusion surrounding this whole concept. But, while I started writing that article, I was pulled to draw cards and ask questions of my iN2IT Oracle Deck to try to clarify some information for people on this connection. This narcissist / empath connection involves one person who seems be to more spiritual and empathic, and another who seems to be more earth-oriented and more narcissistic.

These were the cards I pulled, along with my interpretation. You may have different interpretations. Feel free to comment with any additional thoughts you’d like to contribute!

When I pulled these cards, three words jumped out at me. One from each card. Mature on Card #1. Release #2. And, Reward #3.

How I read these cards was that it takes a very mature spiritual being to handle this very delicate balancing act and many things must be released in each person in order for this to occur. The outcome is a very clear reward. Not everyone is destined to do this job. Only those who have a great tenacity to grow and apply what they’ve been learning will be able to dig deep enough to find the strength to deal with narcassism in any form.

This template takes a great deal of spiritual maturity to find tender spots as an empath and become stronger. That doesn’t mean becoming harsher. It means becoming open hearted and strong enough that you can stay in your power no matter what anyone else does or says. This act helps release the other person from their own bondage and hatred of self. Make no mistakes, those who exhibit narcassistic tendencies are seeking the attention and control over their world because they feel if they don’t they will lose it all.

Then, I pulled this card with the following question:

The Inner Knowing or Shaman self can help cut or release the twin to bring them home to the comfort and safety they did not get as children or in past incarnations. It is a type of harvest from the darker energies that is a blessing upon both people because they are released through the wisdom of the White Wolfe, who leads the way.

This partnership is a lonely one for both people because until such point as the release comes, neither person is afforded the connection that they truly seek. One wants to give everything to make the other feel the love they do not feel for themselves. And the other is so insecure, they feel they must keep their partner down in order to be sure they will not lose them. This is a polar opposite condition that must be brought into balance. Once brought into balance, the new pattern is added to the collective conscious so that all can access the healing patterns.

Then I asked this question:

The answer I received in these cards is as follows: The deep commitment of the two twins, and the driving force of that connection, enables the more empathic twin to literally expand into a stronger version of self. The true self. It is the passionate desire for the other that helps them become the strong energetic “equal” for them.

In that strength, they are able to be a supportive friend of the narcissistic-tendency twin. They become loyal companions and friends. Maybe the first real friend the person has truly had. One can only be a true friend to someone who may be a bit hard to trust and love by seeing their innocence. This is in turn something that helps unlock the twin that has never really trusted that love is for them deep down. It gives them a path way back to trust that had been shattered in past lives or in childhood.

Such is the path of the spiritual undoing of the illusions. When you can see your twin as innocent, he/she is innocent, possible for the first time in his/her life. But you can only do this if you see your OWN innocence first and are strong in your knowing. None of this is possible without deep commitment of the loons. These uncommon bonds really do reawaken the hopes of those who have lost it. Both have the potential then to manifest the deep desires of a loving relationship where trust is never betrayed.

Then I pulled the following cards in response to this question:

You have to be grounded in full health and vitality yourself. You must have your roots deeply in the ground. You must evolve from past lives and old programs. And you must remember you are on a quest. NO MAN LEFT BEHIND. (Semper Fi).

This is the real break through moment. The Ah Ha Moment. That moment when you realize that enlightenment is yours for the taking! It takes commitment, it takes willingness to be dedicated to your personal growth. It is the epiphany that happens when you move into the place where you get it and are ready to take it higher.

The biggest question I then had was, how to advise people who are going through this… And I asked…

The information came together beautifully in these cards as I read them. If we are dealing with a narcisst-leaning twin, we must stand strong in our power. It may mean taking time alone to grow stronger and protect ourselves from the situation while we heal the old wounds and patterns.

“You need not part entirely to do this.” (An actual quote from A Course in Miracles!) But, you just must be willing to pull away and be in your own space to work through the triggers you will inevitably face. Until you are ready. Until you are strong. Until you are more open hearted and able to love another completely unconditionally. Which means someone being able to show up in any state of being and your inner candle does not flicker.

The second card advises that during any “separation,” you keep the doors open to your fantasy and romanctic connection, even if it is not appearing so in your 3D life. You keep it alive in your heart. The dreamy love energy. You perceive the situation from a affectionate and highly divine feminine energy as you go through your own awakening and strengthening process. The process helps bring clarity and helps you find the ultimate solution.

This herein lies your true liberty. Let the process unlock the solution to your ultimate higher being and authentic essence which cannot be harmed by another, especially not someone who is wounded. You can be the loyal friend and companion at that point because nothing can touch you. Nothing can hurt you.

In that moment, you have saved your twin from themselves. By declaring them innocent when they cannot themselves do so!

I hope this has brought some insight and clarity to you. Please feel free to add your thoughts below. I always enjoy seeing other people’s perspectives!

~Written with love,

By Debbie DuBois

29 Comments on “How the Narcissist / Empath Template Can Be Healed by The Twin Flame Connection”

  1. Yes this does because this is the exact thing I’m going through right now.. but, he is so damaging and controlling.. and when I pull away, the more addicted to me he becomes in a horrible way.. how do I get him to leave me alone? I tried ignoring, but he has no limits and the more ignorant he becomes.. he straight up told me, he wants my attention (stroke his ego).. I did my inner healing and now he is just creating and trying to break open my healed wounds.. I’m really stuck.. I learned not to buy into my guilt anymore.. he is creating major blocks mentally and emotionally.. I tried to show him something different, he really doesn’t care.. please, if you have any suggestions.. I’d appreciate it

  2. This resonated with me as IV tried to be a friend to my ex of 8yrs we have tried to get back on many occasions but seem to go round in circles IV finally made a complete break away as his vicious words have hurt me deeply but I still feel he is lost and lonely and I’m sure he now regrets throwing away our last chance together

    1. I really enjoyed this, thanks.maybe it will help me to handle the connection in a healthy way if we communicate again ? Maggie

  3. Wow!!! Makes sense. I just walked away from my twin. He was displaying narcissism and with our push and pull over the last 9 years, things make sense. Trust me, I have gone through every emotion imaginable since I left, but I need to take care of me. And he needs to deal with his choices. Thank you for this article.

  4. Because I would not allow the manipulation and maintained that he is innocent, he actually pushed me away. His “reason” was related to religion. So, what you are saying is true in terms of the path for the empathic twin. But given what I know about narcissists, they will actually give up/destroy the relationship /push away if they are faced with someone who will not enable or bite their tongue in response to narcissistic dynamics.

    Honestly, I would have endured more, but I’m grateful he separated from me. I’m certainly stronger and more sovereign than I ever knew I could be and that is a gift. While I’ve had to heal and work through the betrayal, I’m relieved. I hope he finds his way to a more whole self, but I’m glad I don’t have to live through that process with him.

  5. Wow so true as to what I am going through RIGHT NOW! Thank you so much Debbie!!!!

    Love
    Vesta Moon

  6. This writing is spot on, exactly why Twin Flames exist, to heal, grow and reconcile and through this, our reconciliation, we bring our hope, our love, and conciliation to the world of illusion and separateness. Many have believed that the twin flame relationship is to be filled only with the indescribable joy we feel, but it is not. As you said, we are to traverse this journey of mountains high and valleys low to bring ourselves to our authentic and precious selves and in this, we bring all that we become to the those lost in worldly illusions and lies.

    I have written much since the loss of my wife of 30 years and the meeting of my twin flame. Yes, we are in the middle of healing narcissism and empathy, in marrying the two from unconditional love, for it is our destiny, our choice long, long ago to bring this healing, this love, and compassion to a world of divided souls.

    I hope you take the time to read some of the nearly 500 writings I was given to heal myself and share with as many as who will make the time to read them.

    Rarely have I read a more accurate depiction of the twin flame/empath/narcissist relationship in such truth without judgment, but from understanding as the words you shared have conveyed.

    Thank you, Debbie DuBois. Much gratitude and love to you. <3

    1. I prayed I would find some clarity right before I read this article. It resonated with me deeply. I have had a very hard time lately. I just feel everything. His pain, my pain. It seems like the more I heal and clear, the more sensitive I become. This is so different from what I have experienced in the past. Remaining grounded and separating from these feelings seems impossible at times. I have begun getting angry, at myself, for not being stronger. He appears to be the opposite of me, in that he hides and controls his feelings, almost in a robotic way. The more he is triggered, the more he folds into himself. Then he takes off for a few days, telling me he isn’t even sure that he wants me anymore. Then he comes back. The more I am triggered, the more I feel almost like a naked raw nerve. Its overwhelming. We haven’t had a separation the entire time we’ve been together, that lasted longer than 3 days. It’s starting to feel like a crash course in spiritual ascension. I don’t know how common it is to have a couple stay in contact physically through the entire process, but I haven’t read much about it. It’s a struggle. Constant triggering and healing and it seems like never a break. Our connection pulls us back together like magnets. It’s been four years now, and I’m just worn. But I see the change that has happened in both of our lives during this process, and I know God is doing work in the both of us. Thank you for sharing this. I needed it. Sometimes just a little encouragement, and I feel like I can keep going.

    2. Mark, I admire your comment. It resonated with where my life’s journey has taken me in my current relationship. How would I read the writings you speak about? I don’t see a link? Thank you! Bless up yourself!!

    3. Mark, I admire your comment. It resonated with where my life’s journey has taken me in my current relationship. How would I read the writings you speak about? I don’t see a link? Thank you! Bless up yourself!!

    4. Hello Mark,
      I am the empath in my twin flame connection, I normally don’t read comments but God led me to yours. I have searched countless hours over my connection and journey but unfortunately there is not much on Empath/narcissist Twin flames.. more like a million who believe that’s impossible.

      You mention having lots of information that helped you heal and make progress in your connection which I assumed yours is the same but now I realize it totally could just BE a normal twin flame. Either way, would you be willing to share some of those with me? I’ve read every article I could find on twin flames online it seems but I’d love to see if you’ve got anything different! Thank you,
      Casie

  7. I am so glad that I found this article. I am only recently trying to research and understand Twin Flame relationships, having been left by the cheating, narcissistic type 6 months ago– which appeared to come out of left field and left me an emotional mess. I was told by a couple of people that he was my Twin and I needed to “raise my vibration”, which meant nothing to me at the time. I kept coming across these narcissist/empath articles (unrelated to TF) that seemed to describe him exactly and I was distressed trying to figure out how someone who was so narcissistic could be my Twin if all those experts proclaimed that I should run away and never look back because he was irreparably damaged/never going to change/only using me, etc.

    This is the first time I have found something that explains how and why someone labeled a narcissist could still be my Twin. I understand the theories of learning important and sometimes painful lessons from these tumultuous relationships, but I was getting the impression that all narcissists are a completely lost cause that I should be glad to be rid of and never speak to again. While I feel that I have since begun to find my way, I do feel that this journey is less hopeless knowing that this dynamic exists and can actually be a road to healing for BOTH of us. Perhaps his actions really are protective and not just indicative of a permanent mental defect!

    I personally had always felt that there was something else softer inside him that was hurting–and I told him as much when he asked why I stayed with him if he was hurting me so much. There was a period of time at the end where I could see that he was attempting to try to be better. So I know there was guilt. But now I know that this break-up needed to happen. We have not spoken since the break-up and its so hard some days to leave it be. But thank you for writing this, as it helps me figure out how both dynamics can be possible and necessary.

  8. No. Nope. No thank you NO. Codependency is a vile toxic way to live. The only way to handle a Narc is to walk in the other direction. Protect yourself and live a life free of the mental illness of another who it is not your job to save. Narcs to snap out of there narc traits because you love them, they destroy you if you try. Trying to heal pathologically ill people is also a pathologic disorder. No Twin is going to heal a Narc.

  9. This reading has brought me so much peace. It was spot on and right on time. My journey recently ended, I feel we reached the end of our story but I have no regrets. Maybe we’ll reunite in another realm.

  10. I’m in shock and awe of reading this at so far one of the hardest points of this journey. It’s very overwhelming at times when the term “twin flame” gets tossed around in such a light that says this or that cannot be a twin flame connection. Even rather deep healers struggle with seeing through the murky depths of the illusion. Thank you for this I’m going to read more on your site. I asked the divine and my higher self to show me I’m on the path I’ve thought it to be all along and here it is here we are.

  11. Thank you so very much for this. I have been struggling to get through to him.
    We have been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows for 3 years. I have pushed and he has ran countless times. When things are at their best, that is when he runs the farthest, to try to create diatance. But no amount of distance ever actually separates us and he sees this more and more. He does not understand unconditional love, for he does not think he deserves it. He has been abandoned, nrglected, and beaten, as have I. He has been told he is worthless many times, as have I. I am doing my best to show him love in even the darkest of times, when he is being hateful and resentful. I promised to never neglect or abandon him, to never leave him all alone. Sometimes his running hurts me deeply but I stay strong and loyal to him because I see his innocence and the wounds in his heart. I understand where his pain comes from because I too have the same pain. The narcissistic energy is very difficult to deal with, but I try my best not to let it drag me to my feet. I won’t give on him. Ever. It’s not his fault he doesn’t know of unconditional love, not his fault he’s been neglected, abandoned, and beaten since he was a child. I hope and pray that eventually he will take my hand and let me pull him out of the darkness. He’s worth it. We’re all worth it. Everyone deserves unconditional love. There aren’t bad people, just people who were never loved.

  12. Thank you so much for writing this!
    I cannot express how grateful I am for having found this.
    I was feeling guilty for having treated my twin so badly.
    I know I was wrong but the why never clicked.
    I never intended to and I love him so much!
    This really helps..thank you :’)

  13. I’m glad I came across this. Your writing makes so much sense. It teaches unconventional love, love without judgment where one needs to starve the ego. It reminds me of looking deep inside for answers. Most articles I came across on the subject seems like focusing on judging others without offering any kind of healing at the end. If our duties as empaths is to heal your articles makes sense in that it reminds us that healing should start within.

    Thanks once again for your reminding me of unconditional love.

  14. This is exactly what I needed. My twin can be possessive and manipulative but since we met 5 years ago I’ve already seen a big difference in how he treats me, but it only happens when I am at my best. When I am grounded and compassionate and set clear boundaries his behavior towards me changes, it is so very hard for me to maintain that balance though, especially if he’s betrayed me in some way. I could never stop loving him, I wouldn’t even if I could. We are in separation right now, but still in regular contact. I know I need to back off and regain my strength before we try to reunite. Though my spirit guides are telling me union is coming soon so I guess I better hurry and get on with the self development lol.

  15. I met my twin flame almost seven years ago, I was married to someone else and our attraction was so strong that I ended my marriage within 2 yrs. At the time I had no clue what a twin flame was ( heard the term literally two weeks ago). He came back into my life almost a year ago and now that I have got to see him for who he really is; I am in total disbelief of who he has turned out to be…….a total narcissist.
    I had never dealt with anyone like him in my entire life so I started researching the topic. Over the last few weeks I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about who he is as well. I’ve learned a lot about our type of relationship as well. This article has tied everything that I needed to understand in a neat little bow. To the author, thank you ❤️…… my struggle has been real exhausting. The thing that I’m so floored by is the fact that this narcissistic man is the only person that I have been in love with in my entire adult life (41yrs). I’ve always been a really good judge of character so how could I have draw him into my life is my question? As I have read and studied over the last weeks I understand him to be what it takes to transform into a higher state of existence. I have experienced abuse because of my own issues with setting and keeping boundaries.

  16. Yes… I have walked this path & know others & some living it as we speak.

    I was married for 30 yrs… hindsight 20/20 of course. A difficult lesson that I could only see the beauty of after yrs of healing.

    I see this path as as preparation for what is now going on on a collective scale. We are all in the process of Waking Up to the fact that we have been LIED to, USED & Abused for decades.

    However, at least half the problem is that we Wanted to believe the Lies… WHY?

    We didn’t Want to See the ugly Truth… WHY?

    Our own wounds/fears create Blind Spots in our consciousness that allow us to be deceived.

    We “set ourselves up” to be Awakened… the hard way. (My Angels are some Tuff Love Be-otches) ?

    Still learning, of course, but am also interested in supporting others.. we continue to grow & catalyze each others awareness.

    I greatly appreciate the work you are doing! Managing the social media is a lot to keep up with.

    IMO your insights into the need to integrate our inner awareness with what’s going on in the outer world is Spot On. Just like a Narc partner, the same shadow conspires to keep us isolated from others, weak & in the dark.
    I.e. “Don’t talk to THEM, they are conspiracy theorists, racists, left wing nuts, whites supremacists, Leftist loons, Religious extremists, Truthers, Tim-Foil Hat wierdos, Right-Wing Cultists, Bots, Deplorables, yada yada yada… Lol ?

    Proud to be a Life Long Seeker of Truth & Light. I am now grateful to have had my BS meter tested by Fire.

    Also, happy to Shine a Light on the Path for others. You can count on me to be an advocate for Unity Consciousness on your FB pages. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.

    Love & Light! ???

    FB Laurel R Ybarra
    Modoc County, CA
    Twitter @RedHawkLady_7
    Email: [email protected]

  17. When i came into union w/ my Twin, i started hearing a message, i later knew was from ‘the Mother’…. she would say, over and over ‘see him in his innocence’, ‘see him in his innocence’… I didnt understand it at first, but then the cellar door broke open and all the bats started flying out and it was so dark and scary at times all being slung at me…. so i have continued to try to root down, and hold this unconditional state of being for him, as i know that all the slander and cruelty he throws at me, is a direct reflection of how he truly feels about himself, which creates and even deeper compassion from my heart.

  18. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I think it is helpful to me that I first met my twin when we were children and before his innocence was destroyed, it wasn’t something I had to find, just remember. I am finding that the more I stand in my power and don’t let myself crumble the more he seems to do the work. Also it may be helpful to let them act out the fun of their childhood through play.

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