A question came to me from a woman in the twin flame community who wanted to know how to handle her twin ghosting her after an intense texting “war.” One of the things that may be surprising to the twin flame community—and was very surprising to me personally, particularly given that the awakening feminine has learned so much over the past several years about being in her own power and speaking her truth—is that there is still a great deal of co-dependency and power struggle going on between twin flames and sacred partners. This includes both the awakening feminine and masculine.
In other words, transmuting the old relationship template is truly not complete yet, and will not be complete in the collective for a bit more time. The ingrained old model of co-dependent relationship will disguise itself in a myriad of ways and keep rearing it’s “ugly head” until the patterns of imperfection are completely released. Only then will the “love relationship” be successfully transmuted into higher vibrations patterns of perfection.
Awakening humans, particularly feminine, often believe that they are no longer dependent upon their awakening counterpart because they feel a certain detachment from them. Many of the awakening feminine are “doing their own thing” and bonding more than ever with their awakening feminine soul mate sisters and brothers, but the patterns of co-dependency still exist in so many ways that are not really detectable.
These patterns are spotlighted when we have heavily emotional reactions to being “ghosted” or other situations like it. Or when we start looking for soul mate replacements for our awakening counterparts. Or when we bury ourselves heavily into our creative expression, busying ourselves with all kinds of things we love to do. Not that there is anything wrong with living a full life of expressing in the moment of now. In fact, the key to everything IS staying in the moment of NOW.
In many cases, however, we are running from our connection because it is easier to manage. It makes it somewhat easier to deal with when we are being “ghosted.” And when we do the “ghosting,” it is often because it’s easier to be separated than to deal with the other person when things are very uncomfortable because of temporary vibrational discord. Or, we might not be able to handle the power struggles that play out in the mirror with this person.
Isn’t it easier sometimes to just walk away then to battle with the other person? Power struggles are very common with those catalytic connections we call twins when contact is prevalent. For the self is trying to interact with itself in the mirror and it can be exhausting. So, it is much easier to “walk away” sometimes than to deal with the constant power struggles.
Being in separation, in essence, does seems to be one of Source’s or Higher Self’s solution to teaching us about becoming complete and whole in our own authentic being. It is also a bit of a paradox that separation is often our ego’s way of perpetuating the old relationship models of co-dependency. So, while in separation that we often learn to stand in our own strength and power, we can also fool ourselves into thinking we are no longer co-dependent. Is it any wonder that Source uses the ebb and flow, and push and pull of the twin flame connection to “dance” between the two until a good balance can be struck?
Therefore, be aware that one of the greatest teaching instruments our awakening counterparts will unconsciously use—or we may use in turn—is the “ghosting” or periodic separations. This temporary separation forces us to SEE that what co-dependencies exist with each other and help us course correct. Periodic separation can be as little as a few hours or several days, or as much as a few months or years. When those separations occur, there is NO fooling ourselves as the emotions come up. And, if there is any co-dependency, we will spend time clearing layers of counter-productive emotions. Fear of abandonment. Anger at perceived abandonment. Sadness at lack of communication. Terror of being alone. Whatever patterns of imperfection exist, they will be called forth once again for healing. But these feelings are the strongest indications that we have fallen back into (or never really fully released) a pattern of co-dependency.
The key to moving through this process as quickly as possible is consciousness. Being awake and aware and vigilant is the answer as provided to us by Source. We must become aware of the many different ways we give away our power on a continuing basis in our connections. And we must be aware of the many different ways we try to overpower the other in our connection. Co-dependency creates a power struggle. And when we think about how we are ONE SOUL with the other, or in a ONENESS of vibration even, doesn’t it make perfect sense that until we are in perfect equilibrium with ourselves, we would create our own inner power struggle OUT THERE with the other person?
The co-dependency we experience is our need to have the power struggle with another rather than owning how much of that power struggle is really INSIDE of us. This is what is meant by projection and dissociation. Our counterpart is just the mirror for that inner power struggle. When we become more awake and aware of this consciously, then we can create something different. In order for us to break millennium of programming into co-dependent relationships, we must consciously choose other responses.
Honestly the more we take on co-dependent (power struggle) patterning head on, the less we will need the separation periods. That is because we cannot be truly together in the way we are in REALITY as ONE BEING, until we are 100% at ONE within ourselves with no more power struggles at all. Otherwise, we will continue to project our inner struggles onto outer ones. There cannot be LOVE without, when there is NO REAL LOVE WITHIN.
So, when we take the moments (no matter how long they are) for separation, the moments are for us to look INWARD at our inner power struggles. How are we separating ourselves FROM ourselves? What inner struggles do we have? What piece of self-love is needed here? To ask ourselves these questions is the answer. For when we seek, we will find. That is what consciousness requires. Asking yourself the hard questions. And waiting for the answers to appear—either instantaneously or in a short period of time.
We WILL move through the co-dependency issues. It is assured so there is no need to fear or worry. Every little bit of awakening we have to our ego’s co-dependency is truly helpful to us. And, the solution? The solution comes right down to trusting the process. There is absolutely, 100%, without doubt, an awakening process for us all. Those of us who have chosen a love path of awakening, or one motivated by union with another person, can trust that we will bring those new conscious patterns here and anchor them on the earth for others to access in the field of consciousness.
Be ASSURED. It is done. This is just a little reminder to stay awake and aware and vigilant my sisters and brothers! Sending you all my love for the work you are doing for the collective!
And, so it is.
Written with Love
~ Debbie DuBois